The Lovely Tale Of An Emo Barbie

At my last birthday party, me and my two friends had a sleepover at my house. Once my parents had locked themselves upstairs, we threw on Zombieland because our attention spans were not big enough that night to watch Sherlock Holmes. Getting bored and drinking so much Mountain Dew that it should be considered a health - hazard, we went into the basement to find something of interest. Among the old childhood toys of mine and the ever - growing pile on McDonalds toys, we found it. A totally nude Barbie doll was lying beside an old flowerpot. The doll looked like it had been sitting there since the middle - ages due to the fact that it had not been totally destroyed yet . We brought it upstairs quietly and began to give young Barbie a makeover. After giving her tattoos and black roughly - cut hair, we covered her up in the only thing we could find in 5 seconds in my limitless bathroom , toilet paper. We took out the RC boat I had just gotten for a present and we strapped Barbie to the helm and took it out for a test run. We raced it all around the pond in my backyard till we accidentally ran it into some weeds and the motor jammed up. The boat was stranded about 3 yards off shore with an emo Barbie doll stuck to it. Flipping over in the water, little slips of toilet paper had started to rise from underneath the ship. After finding a very nice stick from a nearby tree, we poked the boat over to the opposite shore to assess the damage. After quickly un - jamming the motor, we took out the flaking, disgusting doll and chucked it into the garage. We quickly ran back into the house to watch Blades of Glory. I have never seen that doll since.